SINGLE MOM FINAL DECISION
Many of you have been asking me to post the struggles I faced and what made me take the separation.To tell you the truth it was the hardest decision i have ever made and the best one.
Every girl wants a Prince charming in here life,ending with a fairy tale wedding.I was one of them.It was an arrange marriage (but I had dated him for a few months after our engagement 💍.So basically I knew him and so did he).It was 2011 when I was totally excited about getting married in December. Having all my loved ones around during my lavish wedding and getting married to the one I love was a dream come true.Never knowing what the future holds for me.
It was after March 2012 when things started to fall apart.He was no longer the person I fell in love with.His violent and aggressive behavior started showing up.I could go on and on with what issues happened during my marriage and the details but as I belong to a respectable family I don’t want to make fun or insult anyone online.Anyway,During my 6 month of pregnancy 🤰 I decided to move out and take a ‘khula’.*(when a girl requests to get separated from her husband) as I have had enough of him.My parents could see the depression I was going through and they were with me.He started turning violent and disrespectful.The first few months were very difficult for me.Being 6 months pregnant 🤰 and seeking a divorce from my husband was the toughest decision anyone could take.I wanted a happy life and a bright future for my coming child,but knew I couldn’t get one if he’s around.Somewhere in my mind I wanted to give him a second chance but knew he would never change.Negative thoughts 💭 were running through my head as it would in anyone’s head and kept asking myself questions
Is this the right thing to do’?.Does he deserve me?.
Will he love me the way I want him to if I stay back?.
Is it the right decision? If I give him a second chance will he change?.
‘Should I go ahead with my decision?Why/Why not?
‘Should I abort my child?.
Note: I wrote down these q’s on a piece of paper with the answers.Most of them ended up neg.so it helped me to take the decision!.
These negative thoughts made my pregnancy worse (had more doctor visits than usual) and with him around I could see my life fall apart.Many of my relatives were against my separation and told me things like ‘I would be a bad example for my cousins and others. etc etc .Seriously!! Like I cared (my parents were with me that’s all I wanted).The only thing I wanted was a better life for my child 👶🏻 and myself .I knew he wasn’t a good example and I had no shame to admit that he was the one to be blamed.The first thing I did was to delete him from my contact list,social media and every other network he was on.Even though I still wasn’t sure about my decision and was expecting him to make it up to me but he didn’t .There might be some mistakes that I might have made but his mistake were bigger,unforgettable as well as unbearable.
I was planning to abort my child at first but then realized that what does she has to do with everything going on.she hasn’t entered the world yet.why should I blame her for his mistakes.Thinking that staying with him would not only make my life worse but my daughters as well so I accepted the challenge of moving on as a single mother to show him i don’t need his support to live my life the way I wanted too.
It took almost an Year to be granted a divorce.During this period I gave birth to Princess Z.The way he behaved during those months and after made me realize that I took the right decision and he was never meant to be in my life or my daughter’s.A man who doesn’t even bother to visit his own daughter or ask how she is doesn’t hold any respect for me.
Princess Z doesn’t know about her father yet .When the right time will come,will surely tell her all about it but only when she’s mature enough to understand it in detail,cause I don’t want her to compare who was right and who was wrong,just want her to understand that some people aren’t meant for each other.
It’s been 3 years since my separation and things have changed in a better way.I couldn’t have done it without the support of my parents and siblings.They supported me in every way they could.Princess Z and I are living a life we never imagined we could have.All thanks to the support of my parents and siblings).I seriously couldn’t have done it without their help.I thank #Allah for giving me the best parents and Princess Z the best grandparents/uncles and aunts who love her unconditionally.
I am proud of my decision and don’t regret anything!.